May God Forgive Us !

I saw my little daughter  hopping, skipping, prancing and dancing unwary that I had been observing her for a long time. Suddenly I thought of taking her in my arms and kiss her infinitely as I was thrown back to my past when we were to commit that heinous and inhuman sin and crime. A strong feeling of shame, regret and remorse dawned on me. And I looked toward heaven if the almighty would ever forgive us for thinking of committing that sin. Perhaps he will not……..

I had got married and also had had a son. After 2 years of birth of my son, my better half expressed her wish to have another kid with the hope that it would be a girl. But I opposed  on the pretext that it would be financially difficult to manage for the good upbringing of the two children.

Nothing came out conclusive and the altercation on the subject went on. But in due course god had it that my better half conceived thus surprising both of us. By that time, she had either got convinced with my view or she had resigned to my wish. Keeping my view in her mind, she decided to abort perhaps half-heartedly perhaps to keep my heart. But now I was deadly against it as I considered it the most heinous crime that a human is capable of committing.  But she thought that I was opposing just to keep her heart and I thought she was doing it to keep my heart. In due course of this ding - dong battle, I acceded to her intentions.

Next morning she went to the doctor who asked her to come the following day. However,  just  when my better half  was to leave the doctor the latter quipped, “ it’s  always better to have two kids”.  At night we again discussed the matter. This I spoke in roundabout way convincing - cajoling and condemning the act that she wanted to do. This time she looked convinced and she said,” You are right”, quoting the last remark of the doctor. I do not know whether she knew I really wanted the child or was it the remark of the doctor that could have been ringing in her ear and heart. However, the reason did not matter here. I felt relieved that we did not become the instrument of the sin.

And now I took the little cherub in my arms and loved and kissed her praying to god to forgive us both for having thought of preventing this little angel from coming into this world. Now she fights, plays and shares with her brother and I feel overjoyed for not missing the opportunity of finding the joy of the world that resides in the innocence of child, 

The Solace of a Teacher

Suddenly, a young man came to me and touched my feet. This surprised me and I tried to recognize the young man. I recollected that the fellow was my old student while I was serving somewhere in Shimla. His name now rang in my mind. I was surprised not by the fact that he had suddenly came to my feet nor by the fact that I could not initially recognize him. My being surprised was due to some other reason. In fact, I was surprised because I had thought otherwise regarding the boy. I had thought that the guy in his life will never like to recognize me and will never try to show any reverence to me, And the idea of his touching my feet was a a distant dream - a dream which I had never thought of having.

The boy gave me enough stimulus to be thrown back to the days while he was my student. It had so happened that this guy was to take 10+1 exams and wanted some kind of help from us- the people on duty. I as I am could not do that at any cost. He just connived with the local goons and instigated them to browbeat us and thus teach us some lesson. These hooligans did their best to scare us physically and mentally. We had to inform the police and this guy was handed over by us to the police the next day for some better treatment. The examinations went on and came to an end without any hassles and the matter was forgotten as being a little frivolous incident.

Now after six years, this man had come down to me to seek my blessings. What I could make from this incident was that perhaps this is the only solace a good teacher can have even today.

Honesty Pays!

We often say that the modern world is not an ideal place for the honesty-lovers as corruption and dishonesty have become the order of the day. But, I feel that come what may honesty has always its own reward irrespective of age and environ. Honesty pays or even if it doesn't, it has its own gift - a solace that is not easy to attain and retain in this wicked world of materialism.
It so happened that I was to go to Shimla from Kumarsain. Getting no bus from the bus stand, I had to walk to the nearby high way. While I was ambling to and fro waiting for the bus, suddenly, a white gypsy stopped just before me and the driver offered lift to Shimla. I, with two or three other guys boarded the gypsy, which the driver told, belonged to some public representativel.
On the way, I was ruminating as to how much money the fellow was going to extort from me. Meanwhile, some two guys got down the veichle. They did not give any money to the driver nor did the latter ask for. I took it for that the guys might be known to the driver.
later the driver offered to drop us at the DC's office at shimla. I happily approved the Idea. He dropped us at the DC's office. While getting down the gypsy, I took out a hundred-rupee note and pushed it towards the driver. To my surprise the fellow said," Janab, Muzhe haram ke paise de kar paap na karao." (" Sir. please don't allure me to commit a sin by offering me unjustified money.") Hearing this from him, I was overwhelmed and I saluted him in the heart of my heart. He could have easily mustered about Rs 1,000 on that day, but perhaps his soul was alive. I often am reminded of the incident and it fills me with reverence for that driver and I would salute him as many times as I could.
On other occasion, I was taking my kids along with my wife to the hospital. We boarded a bus to the high way and got there down to get another to the hospital. My wife suddenly realised that the small lovely purse she had bought  for our little daugter Aparajita, was missing. After a brief husband-wife brawl, the matter was forgotten.
On one fine morning an unknown fellow tracked us down and told that he had got the purse that, he thoght, was Aprajita's. My little daughter dannced gleefully while my faith in honest way of living further got cemented. I had no reason to think against the thinking- Honesty pays!

Divine innocence

A child is nearest to god, and in him lies the innocence in its purest form. He can do or  say anything which no grownup would be able to. The other day when my son, Kshitij was four  and daughter, Aparajita was three, the both were having bath while my wife was just having a care-taking look at them. Kshitij happened to urinate during the bath. Aparajita, looking curiously asked, " Mummi, when will I be able to urinate standing like  Kshitij!" " When you will be grownup like me," responded Kshitij as if the little champ had solved the most difficult problem existing in the world. We could but muse at this nieve innocence of the kids. The instance still muses me and will perhaps remain etched to my memorable memories.

Innocence of a child

The innocence of a child has been compared with that of an angel, And rightly so. In fact, he is free from any inhibitions, whatever a child does is free from guile. More grownup he becomes, more familiar he becomes with the ways of the world, more he loses his innocence.
William Blake rightly takes up the issue in his Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience. True in our life it is. A child wants to play and love anyone comes in his way. He knows no distinction in terms of religion, caste, creed and colour. But being grown ups, we teach him all the wicked ways of life, and thus he loses his heavenly innocence.