May God Forgive Us !

I saw my little daughter  hopping, skipping, prancing and dancing unwary that I had been observing her for a long time. Suddenly I thought of taking her in my arms and kiss her infinitely as I was thrown back to my past when we were to commit that heinous and inhuman sin and crime. A strong feeling of shame, regret and remorse dawned on me. And I looked toward heaven if the almighty would ever forgive us for thinking of committing that sin. Perhaps he will not……..

I had got married and also had had a son. After 2 years of birth of my son, my better half expressed her wish to have another kid with the hope that it would be a girl. But I opposed  on the pretext that it would be financially difficult to manage for the good upbringing of the two children.

Nothing came out conclusive and the altercation on the subject went on. But in due course god had it that my better half conceived thus surprising both of us. By that time, she had either got convinced with my view or she had resigned to my wish. Keeping my view in her mind, she decided to abort perhaps half-heartedly perhaps to keep my heart. But now I was deadly against it as I considered it the most heinous crime that a human is capable of committing.  But she thought that I was opposing just to keep her heart and I thought she was doing it to keep my heart. In due course of this ding - dong battle, I acceded to her intentions.

Next morning she went to the doctor who asked her to come the following day. However,  just  when my better half  was to leave the doctor the latter quipped, “ it’s  always better to have two kids”.  At night we again discussed the matter. This I spoke in roundabout way convincing - cajoling and condemning the act that she wanted to do. This time she looked convinced and she said,” You are right”, quoting the last remark of the doctor. I do not know whether she knew I really wanted the child or was it the remark of the doctor that could have been ringing in her ear and heart. However, the reason did not matter here. I felt relieved that we did not become the instrument of the sin.

And now I took the little cherub in my arms and loved and kissed her praying to god to forgive us both for having thought of preventing this little angel from coming into this world. Now she fights, plays and shares with her brother and I feel overjoyed for not missing the opportunity of finding the joy of the world that resides in the innocence of child,